Gangnam Style | Psychology Research on Gangnam Style

by admin on December 1, 2012

loves him and feels guilty she makes up for the fight – they kiss and make up – she supports his ego again and no sooner as his ego is supported he purrs like a pussycat suddenly he feels trapped and angry and resentful – he feels like she is untouchable – and he is angry and is fighting again and runs out and gets drunk again. And she is confused and she doesn’t know what to do – pretty soon they start killing each other. The relationship is getting worse.
Do you want to cure somebody?
You’ve got to realize that you’re a part of the problem and you have to become part of the solution – but the love and hate are two horns on the same goat; one minute you’re loving him; the next minute you’re hating him – you don’t know what to do – everything you’re doing is wrong. You can be trapped into that. You can trap people into that.
You have to give up your own pride. Now that’s the secret!
If you want to help a person you have to help yourself first. You can help people – but then – you don’t help them in the traditional way. You help them by not helping them – well – by not being involved in helping them – that’s a better way of putting it. You help them but you don’t become involved with helping them because to become involved with helping a person is to escape from seeing your own self. When you are involved with helping a human being – your own ego – you’re helping yourself to that that human being for a little dose of honor.
In the healing profession – if your therapist – if you’re a nurse – the chances are that you have a big problem of your own. When you help somebody – when you feel sorry for somebody – you’re not really helping them – but you’re helping yourself to little doses of pride – and you’re weakening that person – you’re not actually helping them. And if you’re weakening them, the evidence of that weakness will soon be apparent and then you can resent them – and maybe you feel guilty for resentment – and looking for a chance to show your goodness – and they come back cap in hand looking for your help again – so you help them – you feel sorry for them – and why do you feel sorry for them – because you feel superior. There it is. It’s a theme.
So, to be involved with helping a person is selfish and you’re actually still part of the problem – and of course – a part of the problem to yourself as well – because when you stop helping people and you have no one to help – you feel miserable. There are a lot of women who, when all of the children leave the nest (and believe me, that’s the reason why they leave) these women have a depression. They’ve got nobody to worry about – nobody to make chopped liver for – nobody’s cloths to pick up and no one to be aggravated about. Depression.
Because at the moment all the kids have left – and if they loved you they wouldn’t have – that’s the truth – a family is a family I want you to know. People aren’t like animals. When we have babies we don’t not care about the relationships. Family is family – were a human family – were a tribe of people – patriarchy if you like – with love and unity and friendship – with together things are possible and apart they are not, right? So the kids have left – they’ve left because they want freedom – and you’re taking that away from them. No matter how nice you seem or how helpful you are, you’re robbing them of helping themselves. They sense you’re destroying them by helping them; weakening them. So they go off on their own and you are depressed because you will discover a wasted life.
You will discover reality when you’ve got nothing to do. You fear stillness. You’re a creature of activity whether you’re one being helped – helping yourself to the drug – or the pusher giving you the drug – you’re both busy aren’t you – the pusher and the pushover.
I’d like to go over the principle again, now, in light of what I’ve said.
The problem is the ego and as long as you want to maintain your ego and the life of pride – as an independent God apart from God himself – this is the metaphysics of it now. I’ve spoken about the psychology – I’ve spoken about the emotionality of it – I’ve spoken to you about the relationships that exude from that inner failing. I want to speak about the root – the bottom line – and I’ll always come back to that because everything extends from that root. If you’ve got troubles you can examine the pride in your relationship is always going to be one of taking – and if giving – it is still taking. It’s giving to get. If you help somebody you only weaken them and then you get them. Then they need you more and they have to give something of themselves to get what they want from you.
Be careful about people being too close to you. People who need people are the most miserable people in the world. Beware of the purple people eaters. Beware of close relationships. You have to learn to be distant. I love my children therefore I do not love my children.
Hear what I just said. It sounds like a contradiction. I do not love them in a contemporary sense. It doesn’t mean to say that I don’t bounce them in my knee when they’re children and play with them and let them crawl all over me and pull my hair and play hide and go seek because little children kind of need that when they’re young – they need that contact – they need that something from the parent. It sort of an animal – a father identity. Monkeys, if you separate them from their parents, they don’t know who they are. If you put them in a chamber with glass and iron bars and the baby monkey doesn’t know a mother and you just give him a little bottle to feed with – it’s completely disoriented – it doesn’t have an identity.
So, children need that kind of an identity – a physical identity. But then there’s a spiritual identity – so therefore by being a good father – by understanding the ego needs when their little children, to play, and to interact with you, you’re giving them a little bit of yourself, which is sweet, through love.
There comes a time when you start to back away and you start to be – them having received to that part – that is enough already – and they get a little bit more of that’s when they’re fighting with each other – and they get a little bit more of the identity by going out in the world – but there comes a time when you have to put a little distance between you and you can’t be a father anymore in the sense that you are on that level. You cannot be a father – you cannot be a friend to your children like on that level you were when they were small – or like your friends are friends to your children because – that is ego supportive.
But you may want to be a friend with your children – you may want to be young again – maybe you want to get their youth – you want to take a little bit of that you the way – take some of their innocence away – that’s how it happens. By getting too close to people – it’s your own selfishness that is being fed. By tempting people you get a little bit of them – a little bit of them comes into you – a little bit of old age goes into them. You see sometimes children are mothers to their own mother.
They’re not the children. They’re the parents and the parents have become the children. It’s a little game that’s being played. So, you may want youth – you may want to have your ego supported – maybe as a father you have a sense of insecurity and you need love from your wife and you need love from your children. This is the worst thing in the world. You’ll lose them because in order to get their love you have to support them for it.
Haven’t you noticed that one your children go out they’ll do more for their friends and they’ll do for you? That’s because those kids will support your sons ego. You see, in order for you to get support from your son and your daughter and your wife you have to be that kind of person, like the world, that you support their ego – you give into them – you’re their friend – your supportive – and then they will give you the support that you’re looking for. But that’s not being a man. You cannot go the rest of the journey – you cannot take them the rest of the way – on that basis. You’ll stop dead – you’ll stop growing.
You have to transcend closeness. You have to transcend – I mean this ego closeness – you have to be a little distant – just a little bit distant because when you’re distant you’re alone – when you’re distant you’re cut off from your ego supply. You can’t get supports when you put a distance between each other – you don’t have that emotional involvement – love and hate – it’s like a coldness – people feel it. It’s embarrassing. It’s an awkwardness – you often move quickly to overcome the awkwardness by telling jokes and getting involved in laughing and trying to forget it. You’re trying to come down to the level to feel comfortable again – you get a little bit of something from them and you do a little soft shoe and they laugh. Pretty soon you’re emotionally involved with each other – you can’t grow.
Be distant and be lonely and you won’t be selfish anymore because when you’re alone and when you’re distant you set yourself apart from receiving anything from anybody that is supportive for the ego.
Now, a person can give you a gift and you can say thank you very much but it doesn’t go to your head. I can receive it in the spirit that it was intended. Have you ever suffered with a complement that someone has given you -maybe it was a well-meaning complement – the anxiety that was produced – you get a little high on someone liking you and loving you – oh, mommy, he loves me.
Look at the entertainers, how they have to take drugs after a great performance and before a great performance. The ego, the adulation goes to their head.
We become resentful sometimes when people complement us – we know we’re bad inside, right – but we put on a show that were not bad – and people look at that deception – the front that we put on – and they think we’re innocent and they think were such – oh he’s such a nice guy – but deep down inside you know you’re not a nice guy and you wish they wouldn’t say that and it affects you and it upsets you and nobody knows why you’re in the bar the same evening drinking yourself under the table. It’s driven you into conflict with yourself.
You want to save your children – you want to save yourself – you want to save your wife or your husband – then you have to be objective. Because when you’re objective to the meditation you isolate yourself from receiving the substance of your pride. At the same time that you do that you become aware of your own shortcomings, which, as a prideful person you cannot tolerate. It is for this reason that you stay subjective – emotionally involving yourself with the evolving egos of others to evolve your own ego from others. So your involving each other so you don’t have to see yourself – he loves you – you love him – he hates you – you hate him. But your ego is growing and you’ve got a full-time job evolving the self and not seeing what’s wrong with it – and the moment you stop, what have you got? Guilt.
Now, how do you solve the guilt? You reach for a relationship – you reach for love – you reach for hate – you reach for pills – you reach for a cigarette – you reach for something to keep your mind subjective. Because, if your mind stands still for one minute, if your soul stands still for one second, it is annihilated. You begin to feel guilt. You begin to feel weak. You begin to feel vulnerable. You begin to feel helpless. You begin to feel lonely. You begin to feel stupid. You begin to feel dumb.
You can involve yourself with study so that you don’t have to think you’re dumb. It’s only a distraction. You can be involved with a little floating feather and forget that you’re dumb. But how dumb can you get? But now if you’re involved with knowledge and you’re learning all this marvelous knowledge and you can repeat it like a parrot and everybody respects the stupidity it will add credence to the stupidity.
You see?
But you’ll find that a lot of people who have educations are drunks. Poet laureates are drunks. Musicians are drunks and drug addicts. They compose beautiful words, flowing melodies – there like drug peddlers and pushers to the people – and the people call upon them to serve them – and the people will worship them to get that what they need. They worship to be worshiped to be supplied with the mind expanders.
Be objective and learn to find the objective state and it will feel like dying. Don’t be afraid of your inadequacy. Don’t be afraid of discovering your vulnerability. Don’t resent that which gives you to know it, whether it’s me – you can have a little flash of hostility towards me because it’s almost like I’m peeking into your – reading your mail. It’s like I’ve found you out. I’m acting upon you like an outside conscious – I don’t really mean to – I only want to make you aware the inside conscious which is saying the same thing only and not so many words.
I want to make you aware of the conflicts you have is between the big ego that keeps growing, trying to be God – and every time, every reaction you have, every resentment, every hostility, every romance with anything, people, places, things – the fantasies – that’s also bad. Every turn the ego is growing in conflict to the divine ego – and that’s the nature of conflict. In that conflict will destroy you – except you escape from it – and what does escape mean – it means escape from annihilation – you set aside – you

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